The Fastest Human Versus the Animal Kingdom

The Fastest Human Versus the Animal Kingdom January 26 2015, 0 Comments

If you’ve ever wondered what animals you’d be able to outrun, we have bad news. Unless you’re Usain Bolt, the answer is not many. Given the human desire to want to conquer nature, let’s pretend for a second that you are Mr. Bolt and that you are capable of reaching a top speed of 27.28 mph over 100 meters.  

First, let’s talk about the animals that you definitely couldn’t outrun. It’s no surprise a cheetah is on that list, because cheetahs are able to run 70 mph for about 400 meters. Yup, no dice on that. You better hope there’s a more attractive meal just behind you, but the surprise here would be the wild boar, which can run 30 mph in short bursts, making for a pretty impressive mile time for a pig. And don’t let the Lion King fool you, wild boars can be nasty little creatures, and those tusks can inflict some serious damage. Some surprises other than the wild boar are hippopotamus (30 mph maintainable for 200 meters) and moose (35 mph for 400 meters).  

Now for the gray area, which oddly enough includes lions (30 mph for 48 meters) and tigers (35 mph for 32 meters). The reason it would be possible—you know, if you can run 27 mph over 100 meters—is because their maintainable distance for those speeds is not all that good. You would still need a head start, and apparently tigers give up easy as a way of not wasting caloric energy chasing calories. Chimps also make the gray area, but they seem pretty beatable clocking in at 25 mph for 100 meters. Once again, chimps prove why they are the closest non-human mammal to people.  

Now, let’s get some clear wins here. Rattlesnakes don’t stand a chance as long as one doesn’t catch you by surprise. These slithering venom producers hit 3 mph over 400 meters, meaning that most of us could outrun a rattlesnake. Alligators are also fairly beatable at 11 mph for 16 meters, but that still doesn’t mean you line up evenly. In fact, for the safety of Orange Mud readers and customers, please don’t race animals unless it’s other humans or your pets. Sadly, if you happen to own a few specific breeds of dog, you’re probably going to get smoked. After all, humans are built for endurance, not speed. Fortunately, your dog won’t eat you, but we can’t say as much for your cat, who can hit speeds of 30 mph and would probably eat you if that were possible.